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Squirrels revel in 75p takeover talk

Squirrel Chiefs have welcomed the news that the Spurtnip Cup Champions are poised for a 75p takeover.




Wyevale Garden Centre, just off the roundabout on the way to Sainsbury's, confirmed on Monday that they were in talks about a possible buy-out.

"I have talked to the Chairman Bobby Mimms and Chief executive Bob Carolgees about this and I was pleased with what I heard" said Squirrels captain Garnanzo.

"It is always good for a club to have more money and more possibilities."

The Squirrels, three-times Spurtnip champions, have given Wyevales permission to carry out a complete study of the club's financial records ahead of a possible takeover bid. The proposed deal is expected to include 50p to build a new 25 capacity stadium working out at an incredible 2p per seat. Others have argued that it is merely a larger bench, but the Squirrels are keen to show their approval at such developments, and to silence the 'jealous nit-pickers'.

"This is the latest step on the road of finding the long-term investment that the club needs" said team captain Garnanzo.

"This is very important in terms of the proposed new stadium, which is key to plans for the regeneration of the local community"

It is expected that with the new revenue this development is expected to generate, that Bill Debenham, father of Squirrels utility player Debo, hopes to be able to extend his vegetable patch a further 3 feet come spring when the weather picks up again.

"On the pitch, The Squirrels remain focused on winning and, here again, this is all about doing a deal that gives us the long-term resources to do that"

Wyevales spokeperson Mr Alan Boulderdash said: "We hope we can agree a deal for the sake of the fans. It is they who will ultimately benefit from the initial proposal to improve the stadium"

It's all worrying news for the badgers, stated Mark Lawrenson on Saturday nights Five Live. "It is widely accepted that the Squirrels already have a high quality side with many of their players pushing for places in the Woodland Animals All-Star team, which is something the Badgers are struggling to match. These further injections of available cash for development will only bring in more talent from worldwide Squirrel catchment areas, making it even harder for the badgers to compete"

The Badgers refused to comment as they were busy decorating their Christmas trees.

The deal is not expected to be concluded until early next year. Only then we will see the impact this deal may have.

Posted at 19:00

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