Thursday, December 21, 2006
Official Badgers' Spurtnip
Cup 2006 Song
The Lola Cashmens Band' album 'Lick it up for the Cup' released last year and the brand new single '"Goal"-Yeah!' out now.


After the public despair at the drab and insipid official Squirrels FC song by Snow Patrol, "We Are The Woodland", which featured a posh children's choir, The Badgers responded by roping in The Lola Cashmens Band who've enjoyed a string of tip-top rocking pop hits. Speaking on behalf of the Badgers, Mens' commented that The Cashmens Band had "impressed" The Badgers with their unofficial anthem for last year's Spurtnip Cup, "Lick It Up For The Cup" and believes that this will win the coveted "Christmas #1 single" and that this "will inspire" the Bagders to glory.

"Goal"-Yeah! by The Lola Cashmens Band
I met them in a Sett down in Bluebell wood
Where if you're offered gheyness the response is always, no-ta
N-o-t-a, no-ta
They're good in defence and up for a ruck
And when they bang one in the back of the net we shout "GOAL"-yeah!
G-o-a-l "goal"-yeah! go-go-go-go "goal"- yeah!
Well, they play better football when there is no light
They're nocturnal guys who see in black and white
Oh my "Goal"-yeah! go-go-go-go "goal"-yeah!
With Big Man fit you'll hear no more grunts
They'll be scoring all day against those Squirrel c**ts
Oh my, "GOAL"-yeah! go-go-go-go "goal"- yeah! go-go-go-go "goal"-yeah!
Well after 3 years of hurt they'll put it right
Taking advantage of Teach's height
They made Tie-Rack sign the wedding pre-nup
And said dear boy won't you win us the cup?!
Well I'm not the worlds most masculine mammal
But I know what I am and I'm glad I'm a Badger
And so is Po-po
Po-po-po-po Po-po po-po-po-po Po-po
Po-po po-po-po-po Po-po po-po-po-po Po-po
I ran down the left
Waltzed around Jazzy Jeff
Passed it through to Dele
And he scored with his knee
And the ref looked at us and us at him
Well that's the way that I want it to stay
And I always want it to be that way,
C'mon, "goal"-yeah!
Go-go-go-go "goal"-yeah!
Badgers will be winners and Squirrels will be sinners
It's a licked up Spurtnipped up sponsored up Cup by
Gola Go-go-go-go gola
Well I left home just a week or more
And I'd never won the Spurtnip before
Muttab used his eyes while eating some spam
Digging his holes he's gonna make me a man
Well everyone knows that the Badgers are best
And when they trot on the field they put the Squirrels to test
Eat my "goal"-yeah go-go-go-go "goal"-yeah
"goal"-yeah go-go-go-go "goal"-yeah go-go-go-go "goal"-yeah!
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Big Ron has spoken
The Legandary Big Ron has spoken out on behalf of this years Spurtnip Cup. It is believed that Big Ron ranted for nearly 45 minutes on the splendours of this historic event before sipping some port and stating "I am no Racist, I just love white Canadian Squirrels"

Here follows a chosen extract from Ron's speech:
"Well it's that time of year when the old fat man distributes presents to all the little children, no I'm not talking about 'Big Man' Seker, but Father Christmas of course, that's right, it's the festive period and that means only one thing, it's the Spurtnip Cup final!
After some early season meddling by the Badgers the Woodland FA has finally set the date and once again the Stade de Saxham will be graced by the beautiful sight of a bunch of unfit slackers chasing a ball around in the cold on Christmas Eve. There is no finer date in sport, and I for one will be asleep in my comfy chair in front of the fire, desperately waiting for the result to come in.
And on the result, well, I would like to say I think it will be a hotly contested contest of content cunts, but I would just be lying. The Badgers looked promising last season but I just can't see them replicating such high heights again, they just don't have 1% of the skill, commitment, flair, fitness, pace, technical ability, timing, power, strength, tricks or ball control of even a very hungover Squirrel who has not slept in 17 days. And to be honest, they're just ugly as well.
That's right football fans, I will be once again backing the Squirrels to retain the mighty cup and once again be draped in party poppers and cheap Lambrini come the 24th December. I think they know what to do, they create chances, and that's what a team needs, goals. The Badgers may well be able to run around a bit, but once they get into the opposition half they have an uncanny ability to fuck it up, to be blunt about it. So unless Big Man gets his troops organised on the day, puts the big tackles in, pushes up, respects the opposition, defends deep and hopes the ref has a stinker it's going to be a game of two halves, when they need to come out of the traps quickly and dictate the pace at their own, slow, level, not underestimating the Squirrels, absorbing the pressure and counter attacking with pace and skill and some lovely free flowing football.
So in conclusion, who will win the Spurtnip 2006? Well who knows. But it will be the Squirrels."
Big Ron's wife, Samantha has submitted this lovely video previewing this years cup: